There are 5 steps in order to get the right message through to another person. Have you ever sent someone an email or text message and the other person gets upset because they think you are upset with them, but you aren't and they just read the text wrong? I know that has to happen in a relationship more times then expected.
An example that I'm going to go off of this for the steps is... "Hey, babe just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to be coming home tonight right after work. Tonight my coworkers and I are going out for dinner. I figure it will be fine with you since you went out last night with your coworkers."
The 1st step is the disarming technique. Rather than putting up a guard to defend yourself you need to drop that guard and take in all the information that is truth. In our example the truth in is that the other person had gone out the night before with their coworkers so they should be fine that they go out this night. I know a lot of girlfriends would want to text back instantly and tell them that they can't go out, but they need to know that sometimes the boyfriend needs time with their buddies (coworkers) as much as the girlfriends need it.
The 2nd step is express empathy. Show the person that you understand what happened, but it happened for the best. From the example I would say to reply with something along the lines that talks about I understand that I did go out with my friends the night before, but I did ask you before I went and I would like to feel involved and that you ask too. I don't mind that you are going out just tell me next time before.
The 3rd step is inquiry empathy. Tell the person who texted you that that you would like know more about their plan. From the example reply asking them when they are planning on being home. where they are going to dinner and some more things just so you know what is happening and you feel better about it.
The 4th step is an I feel statement. In this kind of statement you need to tell the person how it made you feel when they did what they did. From the example you need to say something along the lines I feel unwanted when you go out with your friends without telling me first. I feel like I'm always the last person to know about your plans too.
The 5th and last step is called stroking which is where you express admiration and appreciation. This one might be the hardest step there is especially if you are upset with the person. From the example saying something like I appreciate when you involve me with your plans with your friends even when you aren't inviting me or any of the other girlfriends it would be nice to be involved on the plans you have coming up.
These steps will not only shock the person who sent the text, but it will also not make the other person misinterpret the text message. Misinterpreting a text is the worst and sometimes it is hard to interpret the way the sender was trying to imply. If you want your texts to go through without being misinterpreted then use these 5 steps and it will not happen.
An example that I'm going to go off of this for the steps is... "Hey, babe just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to be coming home tonight right after work. Tonight my coworkers and I are going out for dinner. I figure it will be fine with you since you went out last night with your coworkers."
The 1st step is the disarming technique. Rather than putting up a guard to defend yourself you need to drop that guard and take in all the information that is truth. In our example the truth in is that the other person had gone out the night before with their coworkers so they should be fine that they go out this night. I know a lot of girlfriends would want to text back instantly and tell them that they can't go out, but they need to know that sometimes the boyfriend needs time with their buddies (coworkers) as much as the girlfriends need it.
The 2nd step is express empathy. Show the person that you understand what happened, but it happened for the best. From the example I would say to reply with something along the lines that talks about I understand that I did go out with my friends the night before, but I did ask you before I went and I would like to feel involved and that you ask too. I don't mind that you are going out just tell me next time before.
The 3rd step is inquiry empathy. Tell the person who texted you that that you would like know more about their plan. From the example reply asking them when they are planning on being home. where they are going to dinner and some more things just so you know what is happening and you feel better about it.
The 4th step is an I feel statement. In this kind of statement you need to tell the person how it made you feel when they did what they did. From the example you need to say something along the lines I feel unwanted when you go out with your friends without telling me first. I feel like I'm always the last person to know about your plans too.
The 5th and last step is called stroking which is where you express admiration and appreciation. This one might be the hardest step there is especially if you are upset with the person. From the example saying something like I appreciate when you involve me with your plans with your friends even when you aren't inviting me or any of the other girlfriends it would be nice to be involved on the plans you have coming up.
These steps will not only shock the person who sent the text, but it will also not make the other person misinterpret the text message. Misinterpreting a text is the worst and sometimes it is hard to interpret the way the sender was trying to imply. If you want your texts to go through without being misinterpreted then use these 5 steps and it will not happen.
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